Stereotyping, or...I Am Not A Pigeon!

Stereotyping...or, I Am Not A Pigeon!

Okay, I’m going to just drive straight into the intersection. I really, REALLY, don’t like stereotyping. It gets my back up when people try to pigeonhole me into one or group or another. According to what standards are these groups established, and what are the membership criteria? What if (GASP!) I don’t want to be a member of this group?

Here is an example of what I mean. I am a tiny woman. I am 4’11” tall (with shoes), and I weigh about 90 pounds. Let me just say that I have, in the past, been underestimated a few times, particularly in the business world. What my husband refers to as my “feistiness,” while not legendary, is renowned amongst our family and friends. I can recall a few times when I had to react more severely in a situation just to be given the opportunity to provide my input because my input was discounted as insignificant. I should also mention that I am a blonde, so I have heard a large majority of the blonde jokes out there. However, it is true that many people still discount the intelligence of a blonde female. I can attest to that statement, at least in my experience.

This kind of stereotyping happens in many situations, from personal to casual to professional interactions, and it has gradually become more noticeable within political analysis and discussion. The occurrences of stereotyping are easily identifiable during an election cycle when journalists and pundits regularly refer to the “white, married, suburban women” or the “young Latina voters” when attempting to sound knowledgeable in either predicting or explaining election results to viewers, listeners, or readers. These stereotypical references were never more evident than during the recent midterm elections.

I am a proud mother of two now-adult young men. They are responsible, level-headed, and respectful of others. They turned out well, whether because of - or in spite of - their upbringing, although I would like to believe that their parents are at least partially responsible. In 2020, during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, I was diagnosed with a non-Covid related health issue. Amidst dealing with the treatment for that condition, we almost lost our older son to Covid-19. Thankfully, he completely recovered with no long-term effects. Let me tell you, a health crisis with your child will make you really examine your life choices and priorities.

The lasting results of that self-examination were some deep discussions between my boys and me about things that we feel are important. I am a Gen X-er, my older son is a Millennial (Gen Y), and my younger son is a Gen Z-er. I will be referring to them as Y and Z for the purposes of writing this blog to protect their privacy. The discussions between us gave rise to XYZ Junction. What I discovered is that there is quite a communication gap between members of different generations, regarding a myriad of subjects. This should come as no surprise to me. After all, my parents and I had virtually no communication during my formative years, and that seems to have been the status quo that has continued to exist across more than a few generations.

Along this road trip of generational discourse, I learned (and continue to learn) more about myself, my family, and – consequently – generations X, Y, and Z. My goal is, through this blog, to present some of the topics we are exploring from the X, Y, and Z perspectives in the hopes that we can ignite other cross-generational conversations and increase communication and understanding. Now back to stereotyping...

I have already briefly mentioned a few of the instances during which I felt I was being stereotyped (incorrectly, I might add!). Through our “XYZ” chats, I realized that stereotyping is forced on all of us, young and old, and we are all guilty of it whether we acknowledge it or not. Z is a musician – a guitarist – and an audio engineer. During his late teens, he decided to grow out his hair. Because he was a musician with long hair, he pointed out to me, many people he met or interacted with assumed he was a thug or a troublemaker at first glance. Parents of girls he dated were the worst to judge based on first impressions, and he definitely gave off that vibe. Many of you will be thinking that I would feel differently if I was the mother of the girl who wanted to date Z. That might be true, I don’t know. I don’t have a girl, so I can’t say that I wouldn’t pre-judge. I would like to think I wouldn’t, but that’s a self-exploration for another time.

My point is this. How many times, every day, do we stereotype the people we encounter while going about our day? How many of those times do we actually recognize or acknowledge that we are doing it?

The problem is not always the stereotyping itself, but the often-incorrect assumptions about character and personality that inevitably follow. Why do we as humans feel the need to do this – to categorize and label a person based on the least significant of qualities? When we make those assumptions, our judgements and biases may preclude us from getting to know a truly remarkable human being.

Hypotheses abound in the world of psychological and social science research attempting to explain human behavior. Notice the operative word there: “attempting.” Until such time as we have our brain direct-linked to a computer, that question probably won’t have an answer. The question then, for me, is not why we tend to stereotype, but how do we stop doing it, or at least curtail the prevalence of it in our daily interactions with new people? For us here at XYZ Junction, one of the aids to changing the mindset, we discovered, is self-awareness. To acknowledge the tendency to label others, to be mindful of it, allows us to make purposeful change in our behavior. I am not a therapist, but I can express what has been beneficial to me in my relationships.

The takeaway is that we need to spend more time exploring the inner value and uniqueness of those that intersect with us in our family and social circles to experience and appreciate the fulfillment that comes when we relinquish those judgments and embrace the character and humanity of others.

Enjoy the journey!

Becca